What are the differences between a good recycler and a bad recycler?
Good Recycler: You carefully separate your recyclables, cans, paper, and glass, before filling your recycle bins.
Bad Recycler: You give the recycle bins to the kids to use as toboggans.
A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home. The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were. The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?” To which the produce guy replied, “No, sir, you will have to do that yourself.”
The leaders of Europe are all sitting around a table at the Copenhagen Climate Change summit. After the initial pleasantries, Gordon Brown speaks first. “I will end climate change, just like I ended boom and bust! I will be tough on Climate Change and tough on the causes of climate change! Britain will spend “£200 billion on fighting Climate Change this year!”
Before Brown has even sat back down, Angela Merkel of Germany begins to speak.
“That’s nothing! We will spend €300 billion on fighting climate change!”
Nicolas Sarkozy of France speaks next; “We will end zis climate change. We will spend €1 trillion on fighting climate change!”
Attention now turns to the president of Armenia, he stands and meekly announces: “We have budgeted to spend $1,000 on fighting climate change over the next 10 years.”
People around the table begin to snigger. Embarrassed, the Armenian president slams his fist onto the table and shouts “Ok, ok, we will spend $100 trillion on climate change!”.
The sniggering around the table has now become hysterics; “How will you afford that?”
“Well” the Armenian president began, “The real figure was bit low, so I just made some up. Isn’t that how it works around here?”
Two planets meet. The first one asks: “How are you?”
“Not so well”, the second answered “I’ve got the Homo Sapiens.”
“Don’t worry,” the other replied, “I had the same. That won’t last long.”
If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
They said on the news tonight that if gas prices get any higher, we could see something totally unprecedented here in California. People actually walking. Jay Leno
President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’
“President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example global warming. He used to be against it. Now it’s the Republican plan for heating homes this winter.” -Jay Leno
An environmentalist dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an environmentalist–you’re in the wrong place.” Thinking that heaven could never make an error, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the environmentalist gets dissatisfied with the environment in hell and starts implementing eco-friendly improvements. After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic, and the people are happy. The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?” Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got clean air and water, the temperature is better and the food tastes better, and there’s no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next.” God replies, “What??? You’ve got an environmentalist? That’s a mistake–he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.” Satan says, “No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I’m keeping him.” God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.” Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”
A man from a city went to visit his friend in the country side. The moment he stepped out of his car he began to sniff the air. “Yuck! What a strong smell! What is it?”
“Must be the fresh air.” Said his cousin. “That sure is some strong smell,” replies the city bred guy.